I feel a new freedom I’ve never felt before. A healing I could not have imagined. I don’t believe that the healing is complete, but I already feel like a new person. I’ve tasted it, and I want more. I feel like there were chains restraining me for most of my life. Maybe from the sexual abuse I experienced from an early age on till about age 17. A significant amount of damage and defense mechanisms were created during that time, and especially after. How many people in this world are having a hard season, but are actually just in bondage from this broken world?
God removed me from my homemade comfort zone of unhealthy thinking and habits to show me that HE is actually my comfort zone. In Him I have found freedom. “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
So maybe it took a move across the Pacific Ocean, but my life will never be the same, so the sacrifice of this difficult distance will be worth it, I know. I will be able to love more freely, because no longer will the enemy be able to restrain me and keep me in a cycle of darkness. I am getting stronger each day.
Since my time here, and it has gone by speedily, my memory has improved. I am able to comprehend and remember what I am learning, for what seems like the first time in my life. My mind is being healed. My mind is not trying to block memories. Instead it is unraveling them, and they are hard things, but in return I am experiencing complete restoration – a necessary journey for growth to happen.
I want to thank you all for your encouragement, letters, packages, support, prayers, and emails. Each contact from home feels like there is a crowd cheering me on. It has not been easy, but God uses you all to keep me fueled and going. He is allowing me to learn to fully depend on Him, this semester in my finances (which is new for me!). My time here is being funded on sponsors alone. I felt very strongly that I was not meant to get a job, stepping out of another comfort zone. I have supported myself for the last 5 years. Now I look Heavenward for every need. And needs are being met, daily. God keeps blowing me away, like when three bags of summer clothes are passed on to us, or a meal is provided out of nowhere.
At this point 50% of my rent is covered by sponsors. I cannot see where the missing money will come in from, but I am walking in the truth that it will come. God is faithful, “if we are faithless, he remains faithful” (2 Timothy 2:13). God did not work out every little detail for me to come here, to fail me. He told me that he would provide the money, and even if it came at the last second it was coming. So I walk by faith and not what I perceive with my own ideas, eyes, and thoughts.
I am so blessed to be here! Thank you for standing by me in this crazy Aussie journey. I wanted to introduce you to two new members of my family. The first is my wonderful boyfriend, Brian Altizer (Cali boy) J. Today is our one-month anniversary, and he has been the biggest blessing to my life. He is constantly pointing me back to God, and encouraging me. It feels like he’s been on this entire Hillsong journey with me even though he lives across the big blue!
I also want to introduce you to my sisters BEAUTIFUL new baby boy, Vhayde. He came in at 9 lbs 3 oz during my spring break, so I had the ability to Skype into the hospital adventure and meet the sweet pea. My sis is home and doing well. Love you all! Miss you!
~Seeking the Lord’s will with my time here as I move towards a visit home for Christmas~
ps- I think I will be a whole new lady when I get home 🙂 Can’t wait to see you all ❤