Family

Facing Fears vs. Breaking Chains

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Last night church was amazing.  “Can you hear it? The sound of Heaven touching earth”.  When we worship our God, when we stand in his presence, things happen.  He shows us things that help us, that He needs us to see.  Maybe a new perspective, a new hope, a new dream, or a new prayer.  Thats who God is.  It’s simple, and its beautiful.  We don’t have religion, we a have a relationship, so when we call to him, He calls back.

This summer has been beautiful, but also very challenging.  I felt like all these little things were eating me alive.  One thing just building on another.  End result: anxiety or panic attacks.   I felt like a contestant on a Fear Factor episode titled, “The Summer to Face all your Fears” and I wasn’t thrilled.  From bugs to family members with cancer.  Anything that could frighten me in one way or another came.

But last night God dropped something in my heart.  He told me it’s not about facing the fears, its about breaking the chains.  Facing your fears is temporary.  Fear Factor puts you in a traumatic state for a time, I’m positive your adrenaline spikes, and then you return home and you know what? You still live with that fear.

Breaking the chains is allowing the blood of Jesus to break the power that the fear holds over you.  Of course in life we run into troubling times.  But when a chain is broken, the traumatizing, paralyzing factor is gone.  The next time you come up against that fear, you speak to it.  Yes words hold that much power – “Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” -Matt 12:37 MSG.

You hold authority to call out the lies that intertwine in an event to make you a prisoner to fear.  This happens on a large and small scale.   When you acknowledge God in these times, is when he opens your eyes to what’s really going on, not what the world is gonna tell you to pull you down.

The key to freedom is truth.

And the truth brings in the flood of peace.  Sometimes we can’t see the simple truths for ourselves.  We need God to bring something into the light to show us the key to what we’re fearing because in reality, the only one we need to fear is God.

One example from my life – being afraid of the dark, hating the sun going down, lying in bed praying for the sun to come up.  I’ve been struggling with this for a while.  Literally feeling mildly depressed as the sun went down.  Well last week I woke up every night around 2 or 3am.  I’d sit up in bed and think, “why the heck am I awake?”  Even journaled, “God are you waking me up? What are you trying to show me?”.  I really believe he was just showing me, “Hey look its still dark, and I’m still here, and I haven’t left you”.

The truth and the key – He doesn’t leave us.  He’s right with us in the darkest hours and we don’t have to fear.  The truth – He is a constant source of love ready to empower us to have courage and walk through the valley.

So I guess right now, I’m learning to draw from His power.  I’m learning to run fast to him, and cling to what I do know to be true.  I’m taking steps towards freedom every time I decide to not give into fear, but stand in the light of the truth.

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Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed.

You see, I believe that Jesus died for me.  Why? Because He loved me.  Because I had sin in my life, and as a child of God, he wanted me back.  This separation from him is real, but now its gone.  And when I got baptized in water, it  meant that I had died to my old life and risen with a new life in Him, beautiful symbolism.  I decided that no matter what happened, I would live my life for Him. He has given me life in more ways than one.  But he didn’t just die for me.  He died for everyone.  He died for you.

So today, I want to do something (not on my own, but with His help, as if I was holding his hand) that set some people free, because he didn’t just die for me, he died for the people that hurt me too.

I want to forgive the man that sexually abused me. I want him to know that he has been forgiven.

There is no way I could do this just as Morgan.  I am forgiving him because of Jesus and in Jesus name and with the help of Jesus.  And there is power in his name, which allows me to write this out.

So I pray he finds this post below:

I want to say I forgive you for the pain you caused me, when I realized what you had done to me over many years was wrong.  When the truth hit my mind, I suddenly found myself in an exhaustible cycle of pain.  I had a hard time in school, and I had a hard time living, and I’m still unwinding the damage, but even so, I forgive you.  I want to forgive you for the damage you caused in my relationships with my sister and cousins and best friends.  We lost some precious years because we were on a journey of pain, walking through unmerited shame, with broken down boundaries .  I want to forgive you for what you made us go through in court, it was a taste of hell on earth for all of us, but I forgive you.  I want to forgive you for the pain you caused my family.  The pain you especially caused my parents, because it trickled down to the rest of us, and it wasn’t their fault.  I want to forgive you for the guilt my parents felt when they thought they didn’t protect us, that was your fault, but I want to forgive you for it. I want to forgive you  for the damage you caused my mind when you lied to me, I forgive you for the inability I have to trust others, because of all the trust you broke with us.  I forgive you for not standing up and telling the truth about what happened.  And I also want to forgive your wife who hurt me by staying with you while we lived under the abuse.  I forgive you for the time I lost with her.  You are forgiven.  The end.  No resentment, no grudge.  I want to be set free like I was intended to, and I was nudged by God as he reminded me that you are equally his child and didn’t deserve this freedom either, but he still gave it to us.  You are still a child of God, but you need to accept His forgiveness, and be set free.  As much as my flesh wants to hate you forever, because I write this through my tears, the enemy has been defeated and I am called to forgive, as I have been forgiven.  So I hope you are set free from the chains the enemy has placed on you, let us deny the enemy his pleasure.  I declare you free in the name of Jesus and by his blood, be set free.  God meets us half way, he doesn’t force anything on us.  He gave us a choice.  I pray that you walk the other half, he is waiting!   Amen.
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Morgan

I have decided.

To all the lovelies back home.  I have decided to continue my study at Hillsong College.  It is more than a decision to stay in Australia for the heck of it.  Its nice here, but I would never trade my family for a vacation. It is more of a personal decision to keep growing, and work on myself, to grow my roots deeper.   It has been such a hard decision, I’ve stayed up late thinking how will I tell my sisters and my mom….and I will miss this, and I will miss that, and what about starting my life? Is this a waste? All these questions have ransacked my brain.  But I pray that when I come home, and I am able to speak into your lives, because I have become alive myself, and awakened the parts of me I have buried, and covered, and ignored, that you will see the freedom, and you will see God in me, and you will know that this sacrifice for all of us would have been the right choice.  So just know that I love you guys!  I miss you more than you’ll ever know.  But this is where I am being called right now. Oi…

Love and hugs and more hugs.

Morgie.
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Strong through EVERY Trial.

406804_383769961700996_855137644_nA lyric in a new song at church caused my heart to stop and think a few weeks ago.  The line speaking of our mighty God sang, “strong through every trial”.  The word “trial” stopped me in my worship and suddenly my mind went back to the trial in court that 7 other girls and I had been through almost 5 years ago.

It was a very dark time.  On a worldly level, the man who sexually abused us over many many years got away free and clean.  A couple fines here, some community service there.  On a worldly level, my heart aches, bad.  I felt a huge sense of injustice, and for years there has been a wound of defeat and a lingering fear that he’s still out there; as though our cries for help meant nothing.  But when I heard this song, and was surfing back through the emotions of the trial, the feelings of defeat and the constant flow of pain, it all began to be replaced with the words “strong through every trial”.  My heart was still.

Though we knew the truth of what happened to us, it felt like our eyes were covered to the truth of what was really happening.  No amount of darkness can hide the Lord and his power and his strength and his goodness.  No court case, judge, defending attorney or jurors can say what our God does.  And he wins.  We had the truth, we were set free.  The truth is light.  And the light is God. “The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overpowered it” (John 1:5) Nor will it ever.  The freedom we have is walking in the light and so we are blessed. WE ARE FREE.  The battle was not ours to fight, it was Gods.  In his hands, He replaces our fear with his perfect love.

A huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.  I feel lighter already. It is not about the justice that man gives on earth.  We keep our eyes heavenward because under His care we are taken care of, in EVERY situation.  No longer do I have to worry about my enemies, “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”(ps 73:26).  Every trial, He is strong. Acknowledge him and watch as your chains melt to the ground.  Be set free lovely people.  What more do we need? The victory through HIM is ours. Claim it baby, claim it.

Psalm 85:10
“Love and truth belong to God’s people;
goodness and peace will be theirs.”

Psalm 34:13-15
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
SEEK peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive, to their cry;

Proverbs 3:3
Don’t ever forget kindness and truth. Wear them like a necklace. Write them on your heart as if on a tablet.

Novblog

You’ve Been Love Bombed: Georgina Grace

George! I’ve never met anyone like you.  I love imitating your accent.  You are an amazing artist, an amazing friend, and gifted beyond measure.  I can’t wait to see where life will take you.  You are an answer to prayer! Thank you for being in my life while I am across the world 🙂 Can’t wait to make music with you! Keep going, God is going to use you in AMAZING ways 🙂

She’s a tip of an iceberg.
She has so many treasure that was given by God.
She didn’t just bury that but she’s developing and using for God’s glory.  Eventually, God will say “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”  She’s special =) ~Daniel Choi

I love her tender heart, I love that she loves those who are hurting and down trodden, I love that she is strong and speaks words of wisdom and power. I love that she pulls funny faces. I love that she is beautiful but doesn’t know it. And above all I love that she is my daughter and I am so very proud of her, proud that she bravely follows hard after God even if that looks scary and unknown. And I also love that she knows how I am without being told. How could you not love that?
Be beautiful my dear child, put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time… Trusting God all the time. And He will unfold your way.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (Zephaniah 3:17 NLT)
~Mum

Gina is beautiful inside and out. She is so creative and is so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. She is a mighty warrior princess for Jesus a intercessor to the max. And she is a loyal friend 😀:D
~Jackie French

Georgina Kent, I have never met anybody like her. Her short hair was the first thing that draw me to her, but after a while I knew that it was way more then just that. Gina is creative, an amazing artist on paper but also with music. She is a special woman in the things she likes and dislikes, she is firm in what she believes in, and she is willing to teach and share with others. The thing that is probably the most beautiful about her is her sensitive relationship with God, in every conversation you can see who’s she is, and her life is a testimony that our God is alive and good.=)
~Nina Verhoog

You’ve Been Love Bombed: Mom Edition


I
f you missed out! JUST COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR LOVE BOMB FOR:

KIM SAUNDERS

Kim is the sweetest and kindest person. I remember sharing something very personal with her not too long ago and she was so loving and comforting and loves me no matter what. She is a loving mother and grandmother. Also, going to school and working full time is so hard, yet she continues to perservere. Keep up the great work, Kim.
~Russ Nichol

I have always loved about your mom. I first met her when I was in the 8th grade when we first moved to Carmichael, and then she started attending Victory Christian School in high school. But she was always in my Sunday School class so I got to know her. She always, always was kind to the under dog. She was very popular, everyone loved her but she also never excluded anyone, whether or not they were popular or not. I always felt like your mom truly was a friend. I don’t know if you know but she was my matron of honor at my wedding. Always kind to me and those around her. I remember one birthday she invited me to, I didn’t have much money and she told me she loved Dorritoes and so that is what I got her, a simple bad of Dorritoes yet she was so thankful. We all went to the flea market and had a fun time. Then when it was my sweet sixteen, I wasn’t very popular she gave me a sweet sixteen party, just a few gals but she always was kind to others.
~Becky Stover Manthei

Mom-
You are such a dedicated and hard working person and are always wiling to help in any way u can. You are also the best grandma to my kids that I could ask for, and I am so thankful that I live so close. -~Meg

Kim-I love that you have not given up during some of the most difficult struggles anyone should havt to face. I miss you so much and wish that we were not so far apart. You will be richly blessed in so many ways, just keep taking baby steps forward and never look back! You will always be one of my most beloved best friends!
I love you Kim!!!
~Kellie Powers

What I love most about your mom is no matter how long its been since we’ve seen each other or talked on the phone, we can pick up where we left off. Her encouragement through the hardest time in my life made me feel love when I felt very little. It was an honor to raise our kids together. When I think of Kim, I can’t help but smile because the times we shared over the years make me that happy.
~Darin Brink

 

Mom, I love you! I want you to know you are loved and people FEEL the love you bring.  You are a light to people’s lives.  I am so thankful to be your daughter.  I am proud to be your daughter.  You are fun to live life with.  I love you!

Who will be Love Bombed Next? You will have to wait and see!

 

Chains Be Broken.

I feel a new freedom I’ve never felt before.  A healing I could not have imagined.  I don’t believe that the healing is complete, but I already feel like a new person. I’ve tasted it, and I want more.  I feel like there were chains restraining me for most of my life.  Maybe from the sexual abuse I experienced from an early age on till about age 17.  A significant amount of damage and defense mechanisms were created during that time, and especially after.  How many people in this world are having a hard season, but are actually just in bondage from this broken world?

God removed me from my homemade comfort zone of unhealthy thinking and habits to show me that HE is actually my comfort zone.  In Him I have found freedom.  “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

So maybe it took a move across the Pacific Ocean, but my life will never be the same, so the sacrifice of this difficult distance will be worth it, I know.  I will be able to love more freely, because no longer will the enemy be able to restrain me and keep me in a cycle of darkness. I am getting stronger each day.

  Since my time here, and it has gone by speedily, my memory has improved.  I am able to comprehend and remember what I am learning, for what seems like the first time in my life.  My mind is being healed.  My mind is not trying to block memories.  Instead it is unraveling them, and they are hard things, but in return I am experiencing complete restoration – a necessary journey for growth to happen.

I want to thank you all for your encouragement, letters, packages, support, prayers, and emails.  Each contact from home feels like there is a crowd cheering me on.  It has not been easy, but God uses you all to keep me fueled and going.  He is allowing me to learn to fully depend on Him, this semester in my finances (which is new for me!).  My time here is being funded on sponsors alone.  I felt very strongly that I was not meant to get a job, stepping out of another comfort zone.  I have supported myself for the last 5 years.  Now I look Heavenward for every need.  And needs are being met, daily.  God keeps blowing me away, like when three bags of summer clothes are passed on to us, or a meal is provided out of nowhere.

At this point 50% of my rent is covered by sponsors.  I cannot see where the missing money will come in from, but I am walking in the truth that it will come.  God is faithful, “if we are faithless, he remains faithful” (2 Timothy 2:13).  God did not work out every little detail for me to come here, to fail me.  He told me that he would provide the money, and even if it came at the last second it was coming.  So I walk by faith and not what I perceive with my own ideas, eyes, and thoughts.

I am so blessed to be here!  Thank you for standing by me in this crazy Aussie journey.  I wanted to introduce you to two new members of my family.  The first is my wonderful boyfriend, Brian Altizer (Cali boy) J.  Today is our one-month anniversary, and he has been the biggest blessing to my life.  He is constantly pointing me back to God, and encouraging me.  It feels like he’s been on this entire Hillsong journey with me even though he lives across the big blue!

I also want to introduce you to my sisters BEAUTIFUL new baby boy, Vhayde.  He came in at 9 lbs 3 oz during my spring break, so I had the ability to Skype into the hospital adventure and meet the sweet pea.  My sis is home and doing well.  Love you all! Miss you!

~Seeking the Lord’s will with my time here as I move towards a visit home for Christmas~

Hugs,

Morgie

ps- I think I will be a whole new lady when I get home 🙂 Can’t wait to see you all ❤