Month: March 2012

The most beautiful letter.

I received a donation in the mail with a letter that touched my heart.  I have loved getting snail mail.  Its not so much the donations, though those encourage me too! But the handwritten notes mean a lot.  Here is a note from a sister that really meant a lot to me:


Someone once told me during prayer that music heals.  To be honest,  I don’t know why the Spirit revealed that to me, for I don’t sing for that matter, but I truly believe YOU are going to heal SO many people with your breath-taking voice and powerful testimony!  Your singing voice is going to break strong holds, bring deliverance, and not only save souls, but save lives.  Romans 8:28 is your passage for this season.  Declare it. Claim it.  And go forth with it!  This is YOUR moment sistah, your time to go on the path that our heavenly father has set before you.  Its your time for healing, so you can heal others.  You’re going to do wonders for the kingdoms cause girlfriend and I cant wait 🙂

You are so loved, respected, and valued.  So please don’t ever forget that!  Thank you for your friendship, its an honor to have you in my life.
PS- I will be the first few in line when your CD comes out too! Haha 🙂

>>>WOW. What an encouraging note.  I just lit up with hope after reading this. So thank you to my sista who wrote this.  It was quite a blessing and encouragement to read.


No one expects You to get up All on your own with No one around

She doesn’t look, she doesn’t see
Opens up for nobody
Figures out, she figures out
Narrow line, she can’t decide
Everything short of suicide
Never hurts, nearly works

Something is scratching
Its way out
Something you want
To forget about

A part of you that’ll never show
You’re the only one that’ll ever know
Take it back when it all began
Take your time, would you understand
What it’s all about?
What it’s all about?

Something is scratching
Its way out
Something you want
To forget about

No one expects
You to get up
All on your own with
No one around

What a Picture Reveals.

Reading, healing, realizing, and connecting the past…this all leads to hurting, but then to healing.

He never told me in exact words that if I told someone what he did to me that they wouldn’t believe me.

But he actually did.

In 2005, at 16, I left the United States with him and grandma to visit family in New Zealand. During the three weeks we were there we went to a “Batch” (a NZ beach house) for some camping.  Naturally we found ourselves oceanside for a lot of the trip.  I had my little camera that I had just received from Mom and Dad for Christmas.  My first digital camera.   It came at the perfect time, four days later I left for New Zealand.

I snapped a picture of grandma and an aunt while sitting and soaking up the sun. A beautiful picture, but I thought little of it, I had been taking pictures the whole time.  A couple hours later the picture was shown to grandma and my aunt.

He claimed credit for taking the picture, they applauded his “talent”.  I thought he had lost his mind.  I argued with him for 30 minutes, explaining that based on where I was sitting in relation to the picture, I had CLEARLY been the one to take it.   Annoyed that no one would believe me and frustrated after 30 minutes, I went back to the water.  I was done trying to prove myself to my aunt and grandma.

2 hours later.  He came to me when I was alone.  He told me that he knew I had taken the picture.  With a smirk he left the room.  No apology.  Nothing.  I remember being so puzzled….angry for a moment.  Then I forgot about it.

Now as I lie in my bed, woken from nightmares and deep in thought from reading about what abusers say to their victims, I realize.  I realize that back in New Zealand is how he showed me his power for convincing.  He showed me that he could make others believe lies, that my truth was lesser than his story. That 14 years of secrets revealed later would have no power.  That no one would believe me that I took the picture.

Lesson learned:  The truth will always set you free.

What is your truth? I don’t care what he told you.  You story is valued.  Your story matters.  And you are not alone.